Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Fixing A Breakup: Tip 1

Did you just get the proverbially "relationship boot"? If you're thinking about trying to re-establish your lost love then you need to feel comfortable with making a few personal changes and asking a few questions.

Either your ex wasn't getting something from you or you were doing something wrong. Try to establish a dialog with your ex, find out what they needed (or did not need) in the relationship.

Hearing criticism is always hard, but keeping a "cool head" will allow you to move forward with re-establishing your relationship.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Getting Over A Relationship Tip: Avoid Those Old Songs

Everyone has been there. You're driving down the road and some random song comes on and you're immediately reliving those moments with your ex.

Turn the channel!!!

There's no reason for some song to bring on an episode of pain and depression. We're living a new life now. It's time to discover some new music for the new you!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Tip: Find New Movies!

I don't know about you...but watching a movie that you loved to watch with your ex can really bring back some strong emotions..the kind that get you depressed.

The tip for today is to put away all those old movies that you used to share with your ex, and lets go find some new ones to put us in a better mood!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Getting Out of an Unhealthy Relationship

Letting Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

Unhealthy relationships are relationships that can cause someone to get hurt physically or emotionally. These unhealthy relationships can last a few weeks, a few months, or even years. Not all unhealthy relationships are physically abusive but they can include verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse. Relationships can actually take a physically toll on human health. Good relationships can increase mental well being and make the body much less susceptible to disease and infection while unhealthy relationships can cause physical and mental illness.


So, why would anyone want an unhealthy relationship?

The answer is almost always related to the individuals past. The past shapes and molds who we are to become as adults. Women who are emotionally or sexually abused as children are more likely to be attracted to men who exhibit the same behaviors as their abusers.

Physical and emotional abuse are not the only reasons why Women choose an unhealthy relationship, it can usually be traced back to their fathers that most likely withheld approval, love and any attention at all. While this may seem outrageous to understand for someone who has never been abused or emotionally deprived it is quite normal behavior for those who chose an unhealthy relationship(s).

Here are 7 tips for letting go of an unhealthy relationship and completely ending it:

Tip #1 - Talk to someone you trust about the relationship. This can be someone like a parent, counselor or close friend. Don't hold back any thoughts for feelings. You want honest advice, so you must speak in truth, complete truth.

Tip #2 - End your relationship over the phone to avoid any physical threats or actions. Make sure your with someone during this process. Don't send an email since emails can easily be ignored and deleted.

Tip #3 - If your relationship was an abusive one take notes on when the abuse happened. Keep track of dates, times and what physically happened to you. You may need this diary in case your abuse goes to trial.

Tip #4 - Always try to avoid the person. Do not call, email, instant message or communicate in any other way. We are ending this relationship and all forms of contact.

Tip #5 - Carry a fully charged cell phone with speed dials programmed to emergency services if you're leaving an abusive mate.

Tip #6 - Find a support group or forum online or offline. You need to talk about your feelings openly and completely. A support group can also help break the cycle of choosing an abusive mate.

Tip #7 - If you repeatatly find yourself entering unhealthy relationships you need to see a psychologist on regular basis in order find out why you are choosing this destructive path in relationships and how it can be reversed.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

10 Tips for Getting Over a Relationship Breakup

Getting over a relationship breakup

is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I've only broken up with someone once and that was pretty easy, however it's the getting dumped part that completely sucks. I'm sure you know since you're reading this post.

So, here are 10 tips for Getting over a relationship breakup:

Tip #1: Find a support group. This group can be a "face to face" one or an online forum. Introduce yourself, give a brief description of what you're going through. Open up and be completely honest on how you feel.

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Tip #2: Exercise on a daily basis. Exercising releases natural drugs in the brain called endorphins which gives you a natural high. When I went through my last breakup I exercised about twice a day and I must say it helped immensely with getting over the relationship breakup.

Tip #3: Dive into your hobby. If you don't have one then get one. It's time to get your mind thinking about something else.

Tip #4: Put (or throw) away pictures and videos. We are starting a new chapter in our life, so there is no need to be reminded of the old one.

Tip #5: When it's over it's over. Stop calling, emailing, IM'ing etc. Cut off all contact with your ex. Communicating with your ex just extends the pain and can cause some nasty fights.

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Tip #6: Consult a psychologist and discuss your situation honestly. If you have decent insurance your visit may covered. A psychologist can professionally gauge your level of pain and depression due to the relationship breakup. Your psychologist may suggest a combination of speaking sessions and anti-depressants. I personally needed the anti-depressants and I must admit that they drastically helped me.

Tip #7: Don't dive into another relationship too soon. You need to time to grieve and forget. Getting into another relationship too soon means your heart and mind will be in 2 places instead of one, and that's not fair to either of you.

Tip #8: Discuss your relationship breakup with your family. It doesn't matter who you're closest to, just go see them or give them a call. Let your family know what you're going throw. I talked to my mom and grandma about every feeling I had. Both of them set me straight with advice that I couldn't get anywhere else because they knew me like no one else.

Tip #9: Stop hanging out with common friends. When I say common friends I mean friends that both you and your ex associated with. You need forget about your ex relationship and seeing them will be a constant reminder. I hated doing this, but there was no other way around it. Even today (5 years later) if I see one of our old common friends I'm immediately reminded of my Ex.

Tip #10: Strengthen your relationship with your close friends (these are friends that you had before your Ex). Going out with my friends from college really helped forget about my relationship breakup. When you go "out on the town" have fun with your friends and remember not to start dating anyone too soon. Also, be really careful with alcohol and drugs at this time since all they will do is intensify your sad feelings (at least they did for me).

I hope these 10 tips for getting over a relationship breakup helped you.